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Hey
Today is the UN International Day of Happiness - which, let’s be honest, feels like a lovely thing to celebrate. There's a lot in the world that can make us feel a bit gloomy at the moment, so taking a light break for a little positivity? Yes, please.
But if we really value happiness, we have to ask ourselves: How do we make it something sustainable? Something we actually have control over?
So let's do it, let's ask.
Happiness can feel so fragile—especially as parents.
Ever caught yourself thinking, Are the kids happy?
I have. So many times.
Because when you’re running on empty, juggling work, school runs, tantrums, and the never-ending pile of laundry, happiness feels like the one thing you can measure. If the kids are happy, at least you’re doing something right.
For instance, when we're planning a holiday, it’s the line J and I find ourselves saying all the time. “If they’re happy, we’ll be happy.” We just want to sit down and have that rest every parent of small children longs for.
But here’s the problem.
Happiness comes and goes. And no matter how much we try, we can’t control it.
One minute they’re beaming because they got the blue plate. And the next, they’re in floods of tears because their toast is too toasted. One day they love school, the next they’re refusing to go.
And if we’ve spent all our energy chasing happiness for them—what happens when it’s gone?
Resilience is what carries them through when things don’t go to plan. When they don’t get picked for the class play. When a friend says something unkind. When homework feels impossibly hard.
It’s what lets us keep going when parenting feels overwhelming.
And here’s the twist.
Happiness isn’t the goal. It’s the byproduct of resilience.
So, on this International Day of Happiness, instead of focusing on feeling happy, let’s focus on building the skills that help us and our kids create happiness—no matter what life throws at us.
💡 Try this today: Instead of wondering whether your child is happy, ask yourself:
‘Are they learning how to handle challenges?’
‘Do they believe they can get through hard things?’
Because that’s what will really make the difference.
Sandra V. Feder (Author) Kyrsten Brooker (Illustrator)
(Groundwood Books)
We've read this one in our home a lot recently – in the run-up to moving and in wobbly moments as we settle into a new place and a new way of life. This beautifully illustrated book explores the idea that life is a mix of joyful and difficult moments, and that true happiness comes from embracing both. The story of a young girl navigating a big life transition, it gently teaches children (and parents!) that resilience isn’t about avoiding sadness but about finding meaning and sweetness even in life’s challenges.
It’s the perfect pick for World Happiness Day, reminding us that happiness isn’t just about feeling good - it’s about learning to grow through every experience.
Next time you get some quiet time together, start a conversation about something hard you've overcome recently. You can start off by modelling something of your own. Why it felt hard, how you felt, and what you did to overcome it. Encourage everyone in the family to think of and share their own example.
Having conversations like these fairly regularly will help bring discussions of hardship into your home. Why do I want to encourage that? Because if you're able to talk about them and work together on finding ways out or ways of reframing thoughts, that's powerful!
Have a lovely weekend when it comes!
Becca
Like the idea of teaching your child about Growth Mindset but just… forget in the busyness of the day?
Well I’ve been thinking about you and thinking about what I can do to help. And I’ve had an idea.
I’ll send you a daily Growth Mindset idea/image/quote. Just a little reminder each morning to tackle the day with some Growth Mindset thinking.
Want to test it? Click here to give it a try.
