Estimated read time: 3 minutes and 29 seconds
Hey
If you've returned back from the Easter holidays this week, I hope it's been a smooth landing. For those of you who heard about school places on Tuesday, I hope you are feeling at peace with the result. If you're not, head over to the 'gram where I've offered my two cents'-worth.
We've finally emerged from chickenpox quarantine - hello world! This weekend I will mostly be found NOT IN MY HOUSE and enjoying being around crowds of people. I'll also be prepping to onboard everyone for Making Mistakes: A Guide for You and Your Child... woop woop! There are still a couple of spaces left here.
This week I'm talking about:
Noisy: Talking about your weaker areas in front of you child
Book: Addressing competitiveness with The Big Race
Club: Mixing the Teens and Tens
Why 'I'm so bad at Art' is not a helpful comment
"I can't draw"
This is unhelpful to say in front of children. Why? Because what they hear is that people are naturally either good or bad at things (I see you, Fixed Mindset).
My bet is that if, as a kid, you thought you were bad at drawing, you probably didn't like it, avoided it and didn't try really hard to get better (completely understandable, we all do it with something). If that's the case, it makes sense that you don't like the subject and didn't develop skills that you now feel confident about.
But that doesn't make you bad at art.
It means you didn't feel confident, no-one taught you well and you didn't work hard and improve. That's quite a different story.
What your child learns from this comment is that abilities are pre-determined. And then what do they think when they come up against something challenging in Art, Maths, anything?
'Ohhhhh, I'm one of those people who aren't good at this.'And that fixed mindset thinking cycle continues again.
'So I have to pretend to be good at things I'm not?' I hear you ask.
Absolutely not. But say it like it is. 'I feel nervous about drawing. I used to avoid it and didn't try very hard so I never really got better'. What does your child hear now? That if you don't avoid it and you try hard, you'll probably get better.
Which is absolutely true.
The Big Race
Got any tips for supporting a highly-competitive four-year-old?
This is a question I got from a parent at one of my webinars last week, and here is what I recommended: The Big Race.
It's about a little aardvark who joins in a tough race with some other, highly-competitive animals. She's ridiculed by the others, and doesn't win the race. But she has LOADS of fun just being there and has a big celebration with her friends when she gets to the finish line. In comparison, the competitive, bigger animals look stressed and grumpy the whole time and definitely aren't having fun.
This is a great book for starting conversations around competitiveness, enjoying the experience rather than just the winning, and how it's actually, often, not very fun to be so obsessed with winning.
Here's a trick to try at home:
Sensible Names for Teen Numbers
Does your child ever get mixed up with their teen numbers? Do they call 13 'thirty' and 30 'thirteen'? This is SO common and so understandable - those teen number names just do not make sense.
Here's a trick I use when I'm introducing teen numbers in Year 1, but also with older kids who get muddled.
Have some fun and start calling the teen numbers this:
11 - onety one
12 - onety two
13 - onety three... you get my drift...
This teaches children that with the teens, the one comes first and then the other digit. And it usually sorts out the confusion in a jiffy, in my experience.
You can keep doing this for as long as it takes for your child to get confident.
'ah, 15, that's onety five isn't it?'
This way you are reminding them of the real name and the 'sensible' name - i.e. the one that actually makes waaaay more sense.
The more you do this, the sooner your child will start to say it too.
I hope this was helpful! If it was, let me know and share with a friend. If it wasn't, please also let me know. I'd love to hear what you'd like more of.
Over and out,
Becca
What's going on with Noisy Book Club this week?
I'm onboarding everyone for Making Mistakes; A Guide for You and Your Child next week. There are a couple of places left here.
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I'm planning my next webinars and workshops at the moment. Is there anything specific you'd like me to cover? Hit reply and let me know.
p.s. something I have learnt this month is that chickenpox parties are apparently not a thing anymore. I offered... no-one came.
In the 90s? MASSIVE.
In 2024? Ewww
